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How to deal with an over bearing parent

Gemma McCulloch

So I reluctantly stepped forward to coach/manage my son's U8 team. It has taken me completely out of my comfort zone but we're three matches in and I have to say I'm loving it. I don't have an assistant yet so am doing the coaching and managing myself. This is all new to me and it's the first year the boys have played in a league so new to them as well. We've yet to win a game but we keep smiling and I ensure I encourage the boys to just have fun whatever the outcome. My issue is one of the dad's. Every match so far he stands on the sidelines shouting at the boys telling them what to do and where to stand. He is contradicting what I'm telling the boys and what I'm trying to encourage them to do during the match. Being a man his voice carries further than mine. This weekend he surpassed himself. After one of the quarters my team were standing on the pitch waiting for the other team so they could start the next quarter. This dad ducks under the respect line, runs onto the pitch and moves the boys to where he thinks they should be. It completely undermined me in front of the kids, parents, opposition and referee. My question is have you dealt with something similar and if so, how without causing a fall out? Any suggestions greatly received. Thanks. Gemma

Parents
  • 0

    Hi Gemma,

    Keep going, coaching is amazing and it will only ever be parents that ruin it.

    I agree with the other comments, get the club involved, don’t be shy about it and don’t apologise. I’m sorry to say it’s unlikely to have a lot of an effect, trouble parents don’t change, but it does calm them down for a bit.

    i think if it continues, ask the club to consider further sanctions which include excluding the parent from coming to matches. If it doesn’t work then ultimately it should lead to child being asked to leave.

    I know it’s tough especially as you are new, but that interference doesn’t just affect one player but the whole team and it’s unfair on you and them that a parent is trying to relive his playing days through his child.

    i hope you are able to sort it for his child’s sake, but my experience is he’ll be hard work for many years to come.

    There are things you can do though, I’d play him on the opposite side to the parents fir example, also don’t start with him in the pitch but sub him in 10 mins into the start of each half.

    Bast of luck!

Reply
  • 0

    Hi Gemma,

    Keep going, coaching is amazing and it will only ever be parents that ruin it.

    I agree with the other comments, get the club involved, don’t be shy about it and don’t apologise. I’m sorry to say it’s unlikely to have a lot of an effect, trouble parents don’t change, but it does calm them down for a bit.

    i think if it continues, ask the club to consider further sanctions which include excluding the parent from coming to matches. If it doesn’t work then ultimately it should lead to child being asked to leave.

    I know it’s tough especially as you are new, but that interference doesn’t just affect one player but the whole team and it’s unfair on you and them that a parent is trying to relive his playing days through his child.

    i hope you are able to sort it for his child’s sake, but my experience is he’ll be hard work for many years to come.

    There are things you can do though, I’d play him on the opposite side to the parents fir example, also don’t start with him in the pitch but sub him in 10 mins into the start of each half.

    Bast of luck!

Children
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