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How to deal with an over bearing parent

Gemma McCulloch

So I reluctantly stepped forward to coach/manage my son's U8 team. It has taken me completely out of my comfort zone but we're three matches in and I have to say I'm loving it. I don't have an assistant yet so am doing the coaching and managing myself. This is all new to me and it's the first year the boys have played in a league so new to them as well. We've yet to win a game but we keep smiling and I ensure I encourage the boys to just have fun whatever the outcome. My issue is one of the dad's. Every match so far he stands on the sidelines shouting at the boys telling them what to do and where to stand. He is contradicting what I'm telling the boys and what I'm trying to encourage them to do during the match. Being a man his voice carries further than mine. This weekend he surpassed himself. After one of the quarters my team were standing on the pitch waiting for the other team so they could start the next quarter. This dad ducks under the respect line, runs onto the pitch and moves the boys to where he thinks they should be. It completely undermined me in front of the kids, parents, opposition and referee. My question is have you dealt with something similar and if so, how without causing a fall out? Any suggestions greatly received. Thanks. Gemma

Parents
  • 0

    Firstly well done for stepping up.  It's really hard leading a team without any assistance from other coaches.

    It sounds like this parent has well and truly overstepped the line in so many regards.

    Firstly, does your club have a parent/ carer code of conduct.  That's the first place to start.  These should be clear, simple rules to follow that when a child signs up the parent/ carer signs too.

    If you don't, feel free to adapt something like ours https://s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/files.pitchero.com%2Fclubs%2F39187%2FhW5Qtq0QCy3VrfC1Dyai_BAJFC+Parents+Code+of+Conduct+2016.pdf

    Either reinforce what you have or share something new.  There is also the new "Pledge for Positivity" from the FA.  We've used that to remind parents and carers that whilst we want their positive claps and cheers we also want then kids to focus on the coaches direction or to explore their own creativity.

    Finally, Mark out a respect line and area for the parents to stand.  Ask a fellow parent to help arrange and enforce it.

    Best of luck with your season Thumbsup

Reply
  • 0

    Firstly well done for stepping up.  It's really hard leading a team without any assistance from other coaches.

    It sounds like this parent has well and truly overstepped the line in so many regards.

    Firstly, does your club have a parent/ carer code of conduct.  That's the first place to start.  These should be clear, simple rules to follow that when a child signs up the parent/ carer signs too.

    If you don't, feel free to adapt something like ours https://s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/files.pitchero.com%2Fclubs%2F39187%2FhW5Qtq0QCy3VrfC1Dyai_BAJFC+Parents+Code+of+Conduct+2016.pdf

    Either reinforce what you have or share something new.  There is also the new "Pledge for Positivity" from the FA.  We've used that to remind parents and carers that whilst we want their positive claps and cheers we also want then kids to focus on the coaches direction or to explore their own creativity.

    Finally, Mark out a respect line and area for the parents to stand.  Ask a fellow parent to help arrange and enforce it.

    Best of luck with your season Thumbsup

Children