Autism in u8s football

My son is autistic and plays for an u8s team. He’s highly functioning and very bright, does well in training, joins in and never misses a session. He loves his team and playing but some weeks struggles with matches. He doesn’t throw tantrums or have meltdowns but finds it hard to join in. His coaches are great but it’s hard for them to understand my son’s behaviour when we’re still learning too. My son also benefits from clear instruction and preparation but even then he may struggle on match days.

Some observations are that away matches are much harder for him, as is playing at a new home ground or pitch. Playing against children he doesn’t know is also a challenge. Playing with different children on his team may also affect him. Some weeks however he’s brilliant and will score multiple goals. Other weeks it feels like his team conceded goals because of his lack of contribution.

I’ve tried positive reinforcement, rewards and even being a little tougher with him. Sometimes one of those works, other weeks nothing works. He can just stand there, sit down or even walk off the pitch. But when I speak to him after he says he wants to play and feels like he’s trying hard. It’s heartbreaking to watch and he comes off the pitch feeling very sad.

It’s not a confidence issue per se. It’s more anxiety and/or being overwhelmed. He sometimes says “I don’t know what to do”. I suspect he’s about to be moved to a lower group which I understand but he will still face the same challenges.

I’ve seen other posts where people have advised on dealing with meltdowns or overly physical behaviour but he doesn’t suffer from those on the pitch. I’ve also seen people say autistic children shouldn’t play football but I don’t want or take away something positive that he loves.

Any help or advice on how to deal with the challenges my son and his supportive coaches face would be very much appreciated.

Parents
  • Hi Alan. Some top advice here, and having a 7 year old with ASD I can completely empathise. It's tough but it's all about allowing for your son's autism and understanding the challenges unique to him, creating an environment where his anxiety is kept to a minimum.

    We all know the football world is tough, but as mentioned below stay close to his coach and look to try and recognise triggers. It's all about helping to give them the skills to self-manage and I actually think football can be an amazing vehicle for that. 

    With my son I find quiet reflection after the fact, and asking questions and allowing him to give his own answers not only relieves some of his anxiety but also gives me a better understanding of how he is experiencing his specific environment.

    My other tip would be to prep him as much as possible. Again from my own son and from other SEN children I have coached, much of their anxiousness comes from not knowing what's next or what to expect. Getting to away games early, giving him a list of players he is playing with that day or even going through the timeline from warm to game and going home time (maybe in the car on the way there) can be massive.

    Best of luck Alan sounds like you're already doing some great stuff for your little superstar!

Reply
  • Hi Alan. Some top advice here, and having a 7 year old with ASD I can completely empathise. It's tough but it's all about allowing for your son's autism and understanding the challenges unique to him, creating an environment where his anxiety is kept to a minimum.

    We all know the football world is tough, but as mentioned below stay close to his coach and look to try and recognise triggers. It's all about helping to give them the skills to self-manage and I actually think football can be an amazing vehicle for that. 

    With my son I find quiet reflection after the fact, and asking questions and allowing him to give his own answers not only relieves some of his anxiety but also gives me a better understanding of how he is experiencing his specific environment.

    My other tip would be to prep him as much as possible. Again from my own son and from other SEN children I have coached, much of their anxiousness comes from not knowing what's next or what to expect. Getting to away games early, giving him a list of players he is playing with that day or even going through the timeline from warm to game and going home time (maybe in the car on the way there) can be massive.

    Best of luck Alan sounds like you're already doing some great stuff for your little superstar!

Children
  • Hi Simon, thanks so much for you reply, kind words and advice, it's very much appreciated. 

    We're learning about his triggers as we go. I think I put too much pressure on him last week - sometimes it works, it didn't last week - so this week we've tried some thing new, which is getting him to draw the match afterwards and to express his feelings that way. By doing this we found the root issue was the other team, which he drew as big scary monsters. He also said he didn't know what to do, so he then drew what he feels he should have done.

    For this coming Saturday, after we found out the team he'd be playing we searched for photos of the team. He also drew the match in advance, with the other team wearing the colours he'd seen them wear. Hopefully this will help him, though he did say "What if they're wearing something different?" so the kits do affect him and if their kit is different it may have created another trigger point.

    I've started telling him who's on his team and this helps when he arrives. As mentioned, he might be moved groups soon, so this will be another mountain for him to climb in addition to match days. Getting to the match earlier also helps, though if the game is delayed it tips the other way. I'll try the timeline, that's a great idea! We usually focus on his playing e.g. pass, tackle, shoot, have fun! but the timeline could be useful too. I also have no idea what affect the journey has on him and suspect this could also be a contributing factor.

    Thanks again for your advice, it's been really helpful and if you think of any other tips they'd be very much appreciated.


  • No problem Alan. You're doing all the right things. Would love to stay updated and see how things go. Thumbsup tone3