As part of the FA Leadership Academy Programme 2024, I had the opportunity to attend a residential with other young people aged 16–24 from across the country. The week was packed with workshops, reflections, and team-building challenges designed to push us as leaders. It was during one of these exercises that I experienced a moment of failure that would later become my biggest takeaway. In this piece, I reflect on that experience and share how the lesson of connection over communication has shaped the way I lead and support the development of women’s and girls’ football in my career.
I stood there, staring at the mismatched blocks in disbelief.
Just minutes earlier, I had been so confident. My task was simple: describe a picture made of blocks to another team so they could recreate it. I thought I had given clear instructions—but when we compared their version to the original, it was completely wrong.
I had failed.
That moment during the FALA residential hit me hard. It wasn’t just about a team exercise—it was a lesson in communication, understanding, and connection. Because no matter how brilliant your vision is, if others can’t see it, it won’t become reality.
The Gap Between Vision and Understanding
We all see the world differently. What’s obvious to you might be invisible to someone else… and that picture exercise proved it:
- I saw a clear image in my mind
- The team heard my words but interpreted them so differently
- The result? A mess of misaligned blocks
This same challenge followed me home from the FALA 25 Residential into my day job and into my FALA project.
I have a pitched a lot of ideas to mixed responses:
“Is this project worth the resource?”
“We already have opportunities available”
But it’s not just the words that sting. It’s the flat energy in the room. The facial expressions. The eye rolls. The silence. The discomfort.
Having the idea is the easiest part. Getting others to believe in it? Thats the real test.
Connection Beats Perfect Communication
Here’s what I learned:
Energy speaks louder than words
- My initial descriptions in the block exercise were technically accurate but I failed to connect
- Ask better questions
- After the block disaster, I asked the team: “What part doesn’t make sense?”
- With my FALA project and future projects instead of defending my idea, I asked: What would make this work better?” and their answers improved everything
- Build bridges
- The residential taught me to watch for confusion in people’s eyes, listen to hesitation in speech and when your met with resistance lean in and keep that positive infectious energy.
- I learned to pause and check: “Should I explain that differently?”
The breakthrough came when I stopped telling and started connecting
Three Connection Tools You Can Use Today
- The “Show Don’t Tell” Rule
- Instead of describing my block picture, I aim to build things alongside others
- Make your vision tangible. How can you bring it to life
- The “Two-Way Mirror” Technique
- Now I constantly ask: “How does this look from your side?”
- It transforms resistance into collaboration
- The “Small Yes” Strategy
- People commit to small steps before big visions
- “Could we borrow your field for one hour?” can lead to “Let’s run a full tournament”
The Real Lesson
That failed block exercise wasn’t about poor instructions—it was about poor connection.
Now it’s clear: Vision without connection is just daydreaming. Whether you’re leading a team, pitching an idea, or trying to change minds—your ability to bridge the gap between what you see and what others understand determines everything.
So next time your great idea meets blank stares, ask yourself:
“How can I help them see what I see?”
Because when connection happens—that’s when blocks become masterpieces, and ideas change worlds.
So, whether you’re starting your FALA journey, or you currently lead others. What’s your vision? And more importantly—how will you connect someone to it today?