Autism in u8s football

My son is autistic and plays for an u8s team. He’s highly functioning and very bright, does well in training, joins in and never misses a session. He loves his team and playing but some weeks struggles with matches. He doesn’t throw tantrums or have meltdowns but finds it hard to join in. His coaches are great but it’s hard for them to understand my son’s behaviour when we’re still learning too. My son also benefits from clear instruction and preparation but even then he may struggle on match days.

Some observations are that away matches are much harder for him, as is playing at a new home ground or pitch. Playing against children he doesn’t know is also a challenge. Playing with different children on his team may also affect him. Some weeks however he’s brilliant and will score multiple goals. Other weeks it feels like his team conceded goals because of his lack of contribution.

I’ve tried positive reinforcement, rewards and even being a little tougher with him. Sometimes one of those works, other weeks nothing works. He can just stand there, sit down or even walk off the pitch. But when I speak to him after he says he wants to play and feels like he’s trying hard. It’s heartbreaking to watch and he comes off the pitch feeling very sad.

It’s not a confidence issue per se. It’s more anxiety and/or being overwhelmed. He sometimes says “I don’t know what to do”. I suspect he’s about to be moved to a lower group which I understand but he will still face the same challenges.

I’ve seen other posts where people have advised on dealing with meltdowns or overly physical behaviour but he doesn’t suffer from those on the pitch. I’ve also seen people say autistic children shouldn’t play football but I don’t want or take away something positive that he loves.

Any help or advice on how to deal with the challenges my son and his supportive coaches face would be very much appreciated.

Parents
  • Speaking as a coach who has no personal experience of autism with my children but now faced with 1 or 2 in my team who display 'characteristics' or are within the spectrum somewhere.

    Like you say, autism manifests in so many different ways that i feel like i'm drowning in trying to consider coping mechanisms to help this child enjoy and engage at training.

    I struggle in understanding/identifiying the difference between poor behaviour and an autistic trait and therefore how to respond to it.

    So... as a coach, I look for as much support from parents as i possibly can - i only see this child for 1hr a week... they obviously deal with this all the time.

    My advice - keep close contact with the coach, if something has happened during the day to trigger an event or feeling then let them know. Let them know what strategies you use to help alieviate situations where the child may struggle or get confused.

    I wish the parents in my team were a little more invovled, despite me constantly asking them for assistance with thier child - such that I can try to provide the best support i can to him.

Reply
  • Speaking as a coach who has no personal experience of autism with my children but now faced with 1 or 2 in my team who display 'characteristics' or are within the spectrum somewhere.

    Like you say, autism manifests in so many different ways that i feel like i'm drowning in trying to consider coping mechanisms to help this child enjoy and engage at training.

    I struggle in understanding/identifiying the difference between poor behaviour and an autistic trait and therefore how to respond to it.

    So... as a coach, I look for as much support from parents as i possibly can - i only see this child for 1hr a week... they obviously deal with this all the time.

    My advice - keep close contact with the coach, if something has happened during the day to trigger an event or feeling then let them know. Let them know what strategies you use to help alieviate situations where the child may struggle or get confused.

    I wish the parents in my team were a little more invovled, despite me constantly asking them for assistance with thier child - such that I can try to provide the best support i can to him.

Children
  • Hey Christopher, thanks for your post. I feel your struggle and if I'm honest it's no easier as a parent. I also fully empathise with your statement that you don't know if it's poor behaviour or their ASD. Even as a parent who deals with this on a daily basis it's not easy. We're also still looking for the answers and how to manage.

    We try to support the coaches but understand it's hard for them. Our team is run by parent volunteers and they're not trained in any way to support ASD. I've also heard other coaches outside of my son's group say derogatory things about children with ASD - "star gazers", "that adhd kid", "they shouldn't be playing football". This makes me reluctant to tell them about his autism as it's a label, a badge and he's judged on this. Instead I approach it a different way and tell them about his symptoms and the outcomes but no label.

    Parents are also encouraged to be hands off, so this makes it harder - especially when my son is struggling. It's getting the balance right between supporting my son and interfering.

    You're doing the right things so far and I think it's great you're posting on here and looking for help too. It shows you care and it might be worth talking to the parents and asking for more support, I'd much appreciate it our coaches did that with me. Some have a they admit they're still learning, it's also something they never signed up for. I also think the parents you mention may need to do more to support their child but it's also possible they're not aware their child has ASD - I know we didn't until a relative had a similar experience and the penny dropped.