Autism in u8s football

My son is autistic and plays for an u8s team. He’s highly functioning and very bright, does well in training, joins in and never misses a session. He loves his team and playing but some weeks struggles with matches. He doesn’t throw tantrums or have meltdowns but finds it hard to join in. His coaches are great but it’s hard for them to understand my son’s behaviour when we’re still learning too. My son also benefits from clear instruction and preparation but even then he may struggle on match days.

Some observations are that away matches are much harder for him, as is playing at a new home ground or pitch. Playing against children he doesn’t know is also a challenge. Playing with different children on his team may also affect him. Some weeks however he’s brilliant and will score multiple goals. Other weeks it feels like his team conceded goals because of his lack of contribution.

I’ve tried positive reinforcement, rewards and even being a little tougher with him. Sometimes one of those works, other weeks nothing works. He can just stand there, sit down or even walk off the pitch. But when I speak to him after he says he wants to play and feels like he’s trying hard. It’s heartbreaking to watch and he comes off the pitch feeling very sad.

It’s not a confidence issue per se. It’s more anxiety and/or being overwhelmed. He sometimes says “I don’t know what to do”. I suspect he’s about to be moved to a lower group which I understand but he will still face the same challenges.

I’ve seen other posts where people have advised on dealing with meltdowns or overly physical behaviour but he doesn’t suffer from those on the pitch. I’ve also seen people say autistic children shouldn’t play football but I don’t want or take away something positive that he loves.

Any help or advice on how to deal with the challenges my son and his supportive coaches face would be very much appreciated.

Parents
  • He struggled with the chaotic change from familiarity of training and friendlies to opposition match days but for him it came down to someone had to lose his empathy which is a great thing has held him back from his passion

    try to rationalise the win or lose side of things open up to parents and players of how you both feel it could really help but more importantly stick with it and support all the way

    and your lad is a star

    best of luck lee

  • Thanks for your positive words Lee. As you say all autistic kids are different, it’s a single term that covers so much.

    I think some coaches understand and want to help. Others probably think he isn’t very good or doesn’t want to be there. He struggled at first, then started to manage and now he’s struggling again sadly.

    I think subbing him more may help, though he’s aware of this and doesn’t understand why he’s subbed more than others. Possibly starting the game as a sub may help settle him before he plays. It’s difficult as the club rules are parents shouldn’t interfere but in this instance some polite suggestions may help him, I also know the coaches are rooting for him as they can see him engaging in training and performing well in some matches. 

    Thanks again Lee any other coping strategies you or others may have are much appreciated. 

Reply
  • Thanks for your positive words Lee. As you say all autistic kids are different, it’s a single term that covers so much.

    I think some coaches understand and want to help. Others probably think he isn’t very good or doesn’t want to be there. He struggled at first, then started to manage and now he’s struggling again sadly.

    I think subbing him more may help, though he’s aware of this and doesn’t understand why he’s subbed more than others. Possibly starting the game as a sub may help settle him before he plays. It’s difficult as the club rules are parents shouldn’t interfere but in this instance some polite suggestions may help him, I also know the coaches are rooting for him as they can see him engaging in training and performing well in some matches. 

    Thanks again Lee any other coping strategies you or others may have are much appreciated. 

Children
No Data