Hey Paul, I think communicating your expectations is a good idea - I think this would help. Difficult behaviour is very tough at times to deal with, I have heard coaches suggest ignoring the badly behaved (as they are craving attention) and focus on the well behaved. I have also  heard them come up with games, tasks and roles for players on the side of the pitch. Making the matchday as enjoyable as possible is key I think. Have you spoken to the kids about what they want to do when off the pitch? Perhaps it's worth embracing that - if you haven't done it already :) Vinny Halsall  responded to a similar question/post not long ago How to Address Bad Attitude - have you seen this? May help? 

Hi Paul,

i think alot of coaches can resonate with this, but i always remind myself that they are only 7-8 yrs old.

Some may be more mature socially than others, this may also be that they are sept,oct,nov and december birthdays. you might find that the youngsters that wander more have later birthdays.

Some may have older siblings that warrent that learning, some may be an only child, lots to consider but they are YOUNG.

One thing to try is when you talk to the group stand right by the parents, so they can see and hear the responses and actions of their child,

sometimes this can help.

something else i do for my u8's is in their progress report highlight any issues for them to work on and their goals to reach, wether thats improving their passing or their listening and interactions.

but that progress report goes to the child and parent/guardian and you and them review it after a few weeks.

This gives you 1 on 1 time with the youngster to see what they think

all the best for the season

Hi Everyone , its been a long time since I have been on here .

I was 8 once and it was fantastic freedom to adventure explore create imaginative friends its was superb . today I still have these thoughts when coaching young players , i require to think like them and ask my self what do they need from me .to create this magical learning environment that they think I'm  coming back to your sessions if you like it or not , I'm 8 years old I'm going to be disruptive , I'm going to kick a ball away ,run to my parents , not listen because at the particular time I'm thinking of what game I'm going to play or what am i going to have for dinner at school tomorrow while not intentionally us coaches are waffling on about something that is important to their development  , but the child does not have one clue what were going on about , this could be to do with age related information were giving ,or the communication or instruction were are sending out doesn't relate to their understanding . has coaches we need to be at their level of thought processes . and I believe if you can do this your challenges will start fading away stress levels drop smiles appear and little giggles and chuckles are heard in a distance . what we do and how we act is different for a child than a adult ?   

Hi Paul Currie 

Hope you're well. Just thought I'd check in with how everything is going following your question. I have also included tw links below which may be a good read for managing difficult behavior within football

https://learn.englandfootball.com/articles/resources/2022/How-to-improve-player-behaviour-in-training

https://www.thefa.com/news/2017/feb/02/the-boot-room---top-10-tips-player-behaviour-030217

Let us knw.

Thanks, Will

Hi Will,

Thank you for sending the links across. Excellent tips in those articles. Alot of which we have incorporated for a long time and some of them are reassuring as I do them anyway for the reasons explained in the articles.

So I think me and the coaches are doing a lot right but it has to be said the behaviours haven't improved much from when I published the original post (maybe a couple have improved their behaviour slightly but because more than half are prone to messing, even the better-behaved ones can get sucked into it which I can understand why).

At the end of the day, it is what it is and while other teams in the same age group at our club behave better (based on discussions with fellow coaches) I do believe a lot of it is pot luck and these same players would present the same issues to other coaches.

That said, we haven't explored ALL intervention methods yet because I've still not issued the Expectations document for parents/kids I'm working on. Funnily enough I've made a lot of progress this week with it. It's taken this long because 1) I'm a busy dad with 4 kids and 2) it's grew legs and has become more than just a list of expectations.

Whilst it included expected standards of the players it is basically a Welcome/Informational/childrens activity ebook!

I'm currently shopping round for reasonably priced Graphic Designer to help give it some life, now that I've completed the content. If you happen to know any, let me know!? ha

I'm quite proud of what I've produced and think it will provide clarity to parents and the kids on what the club is about and what we expect from the kids when it comes to conduct. 

Alot of work has gone into it for just one team but I will present it to our club committee as they may want it to become a Welcome/onboarding/information ebook for players who join the club to improve the parent/player experience when they start out.

Another thing I've done recently is sign our team up for extra coaching from qualified coaches. I'll be interested to see how the lads fare and I'm hoping they will improve their conduct in front of coaches they perceive as an authority of the game.

Thanks for your message.

Hi Tim. Sorry for only replying to your response now. I did refer to the article at the time and I want to thank you for sharing.

It's a very similar to situation to ours but the advice Vinny provided was (1) reassuring, as we use a lot of those techniques anyway (2) insightful/inspirational - for example, the use of the 3D C's (Communication, Cooperation, Collaboration) is something I am now even more conscious about. 

I have produced (but not yet fully designed) an Expectations e-book for parents and kids. I've covered a section on the 3C's in an attempt to provide parents with clarity around our values and approach so they are fully aware of what behaviour and culture we are trying to encourage.

Hopefully once I've circulated and fully communicated the Expectations Guide I'm producing, we'll get more support from parents and the clear messaging and standards we expect will resonate with the kids more, leading to much improved behaviour.

There's only so much we can though and sometimes there has to be a degree of acceptance that they are 8 yrs old and some kids mature faster than others. 

Even though I know they could be better at football with more focus and higher quality practice, they all seem to love playing and therefore, as coaches, we should be proud that we've managed to help put a smile on their faces.

Thanks Lee for the reply and sorry for the slow response. 

Based on the response from yourself and others it appears we are not alone - which I knew anyway tbf.

You are right in what you're saying about the month they were born in and sure enough the majority of ours are young for their age group which could explain the, at times, chaotic behaviour.

I like the suggestion of team talks with parents in close proximity and that is what we've done for a long time to be fair.

I really like the idea of a performance report for the players. I've created one within the Expectations doc I'm producing but it's addressed to the entire team and based predominantly on behaviour. So I will look to create individual player ones.

Cheers

Paul

Hi Barry. Thanks for your reply and sorry for only just responding.

You raise some excellent points. I think its a case of falling into the trap of observing players in other teams of the same age and their managers backing up that their behaviour is pretty good compared to ours.

It is what it is and although we still have a couple of techniques going forwards to help improve behaviour, sometimes it's just a case of accepting that's just where they are at maturity wise right now.

Thanks for your help!

New depths sunk to in our latest training session sadly.

Poor attention and behaviour from 7 out of 10 players.

Unable to perform even the most basic of exercises, mainly due to lack of focus with player's dancing and talking gibberish for attention, and poor conduct by smacking the ball far too hard out of the circle with little care.

Modifying their technique based on individual coaching feedback only to revert back to messing within seconds of me leaving to coach another station/pair a mere 2 metres away.

Kids messing even with their dads telling them to stop.

Kids playfully mauling each other or facing eachother with backs to me while giving them tips to follow (maybe my instructions went on too long but a few had started messing within 10 seconds so either way they weren't able to take on the information).

A player retaliated after he felt like he was fouled in the match at the end.

A separate couple of players kicked out at each other with one chasing the other to confront him with the session just finished. Brought them together to smooth things over but because the rest of the players and parents were waiting to wrap up the session, there wasn't time to address it fully even though the lads calmed down.

During the debrief to quickly run through what we did, question what they learnt, reward those who did well etc, one of the players put his hand up only to tell everyone how one of the other players didn't want to be his friend on Roblox.

One other child raised their hand only to ask a a daft/nonsensical question unrelated to football to get a laugh. At this point in the post-training chat they were all super hyper and being silly.

*sighs*

It's a shame because there's a few lads who have a good attitude as they put effort into the exercises and listen mostly well, as well as having a laugh and joke at appropriate times.

Hi Paul,

Well done for continuing to persist with this ongoing challenge and to continue to try to confront this behaviour head on through a number of methods. Your approach to improving the situation has been excellent and will take a lot of trial and error until you find what ticks for your players.

Once the guides are shared with players/families hopefully there will be clarity around player expectations and what the club looks for on its players and learning environment.

In terms of your sessions and behaviour on the night, something that has worked before is using visuals to show your players what they will be missing out on. Something I have regularly done in the past is write ‘30’ on a whiteboard. This indicates how many minutes of game time the players get, every time someone misbehaves they lose a minute. They can earn minutes back however it is key to stick to your principles and what you believe to be acceptable behaviour. In terms of unacceptable behaviour I wouldn’t hesitate to speak to parents after sessions and include the players either privately or collectively and explain what is acceptable/unacceptable if you are volunteering your time players need to learn to be respectful of that.   

This can be adapted to suit your group and players and what they enjoy most. 

Keep us posted with the guides and how you get on.

Thanks, Will.