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Managing u11

Nicholas Spake

I manage an U11 side and one of my players hates loosing. At training he can be engaged, encouraging and committed during the drills but when it comes to the match (either at the end of training or on match days) he starts shouting at the other players and 'having a go at them' if they do something wrong or we start loosing. He seems to be bringing down moral in the side. I am thinking about dropping him for a few games....he is also my son...

We seem to argue after every game and I'm wondering that although I really enjoy coaching the lads and seeing them develop maybe I should take a step back to see how he reacts with a different manager.

Your thoughts please.....

Parents
  • 0

    Hi Nicholas. I have coached my son in his team previously. I found when I stepped away from his team, I looked back and I had been over him, and he would see my mood after games when we got home and it hadn't gone well in my eyes.

    Being the child of a coach can be tough because there can be unwritten expectations by the player themselves. Your son may be competitive, are you that way minded even if you think you don't show it? Just a question so apologies if it offends. 

    The other things to think about is by stepping away are you giving up something you love?

    Also, who would step up and would they share your views on how to manage a group of players. Before making the decision I would have a really good chat with your son about these incidents and how others may see it. Understand what the drivers are for this behaviour, and decide together what to do. The thought of not being coached by you may be something that upsets your son, or you may uncover things you could change in how you manage, or you both agree on what the expected outcomes of being involved in the team together.

    Just some thoughts, but I've been there too.

    Rich

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  • 0

    Hi Nicholas. I have coached my son in his team previously. I found when I stepped away from his team, I looked back and I had been over him, and he would see my mood after games when we got home and it hadn't gone well in my eyes.

    Being the child of a coach can be tough because there can be unwritten expectations by the player themselves. Your son may be competitive, are you that way minded even if you think you don't show it? Just a question so apologies if it offends. 

    The other things to think about is by stepping away are you giving up something you love?

    Also, who would step up and would they share your views on how to manage a group of players. Before making the decision I would have a really good chat with your son about these incidents and how others may see it. Understand what the drivers are for this behaviour, and decide together what to do. The thought of not being coached by you may be something that upsets your son, or you may uncover things you could change in how you manage, or you both agree on what the expected outcomes of being involved in the team together.

    Just some thoughts, but I've been there too.

    Rich

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