Hi James,

Its  a really difficult one, i have first hand experience with a player just like yours for the last 8yrs

He attends every training session for the last 8yrs. 

one season he played most games others not so much, a naturally 2 footed player also.

this season his last season, trained every week played 1 game, the very last one.

Why is it difficult?  

This lads my son,  it doesnt matter how much i build him up, how much his peers encourage him.

For him with his Autism, it can effect his self esteem, his  confidence and to be able to believe in himself.

I went through times of saying to him, "you need to play", 

but that put even more pressure on him because in his thought process, he wasnt good enough, what if he made a mistake, what if he let his teammates down.

these are the things that crossed his mind continuosly.

Have you chatted to his parents about game day, does he have the choice of wether he plays or not (in his mind)

More importantly have you asked the player how he feels on game day.

weigh up the pros and cons with him.

"what happens if he shoots and misses" (not alot)

"what happens if he gets tackled"  (someone else on the team will get the ball)

how do these make him feel, (a bit sad, but his teammates arent worried as they do these things also)

how does he feel when he scores ( fantastic)

how does he feel when he gets an assist (fantastic)

Its all about dumbing down the pressure and importance of situations

BUT its a really long road where you may never reach the end, try to celebrate the wins and dont dwell on the negatives

all the best

lee

Hi James, 

I agree with Lee's advice he needs to feel in control of his own environment, which in a match can be difficult as you have other players impacting on this. The game in its full form is chaos and it may be this triggers the response you see.

I have 2 nephews one of which is on the spectrum and one who although not recognised as such shows all the signs that he too is on it, but is able to manage the situations better. An there's the rub, all players are different, they are all individuals. We like to label in football: he's a gk. he's a striker or a defender, we like to label and to an extent this gives support the player if they themselves see themselves this way. Autism is a blunt term that cannot even begin to cover these individuals that just process things differently to what s considered 'normal' whatever that is. I found that the different environments of a training session and a match did prove too much at times, the triggers that brought out difficult responses were hard to spot. I tried hard with little success at first to make the environment and expectations at a training session the same as those in a match, and gradually bit by bit he came up with his own strategies to deal with the challenges that came within the game. in hindsight he improved my coaching and communication with all my players, by making training games real and close to the game at the weekend he got to experience situations that initially would cause difficult responses added to this was a firm emphasis on effort over result, praise the fact he tried to do the right thing and that rook some pressure off as all players were given small targets (reflecting what we covered in training) in the game and we always achieved some in not always all, but that gave a positive feeling of moving forward which was not linked to the did we win or not/ success or fail.  I try to create an environment where mistakes are not feared but seen as a challenge to be solved. I hope the above ramblings make sense and wish you and you player and players well in the coming season.

Hi James, 

some great lived experience advice below which relay to a complex situation. The fact you are looking for positive advice speaks volumes;

one of the issues is understanding the specific triggers as these can differ - although noise, large spaces, stress are all common ones.

I am sure you have, but speaking to parents around these to help manage the environment is key, neurotypical peers mates/ players understanding these is also helpful, as with parents/coaches, but as mentioned below, always difficult in the throes of a match.

not pressuring by loading lots of praise, but by issuing clear and succinct messages is also sometimes very helpful. 

As an example, and not suggesting this would work for every individual but a club I know worked with parents of the players side to ‘try’ to personalise any praise, and noise distraction when the player was on the ball, tough to do! This however had some positive returns for parents, player & team. Great inclusion also!

The fact he shines in training is a plus, and shows the positive environment you have set. It is always difficult when you are wanting the player to enjoy without stress, but by understanding the player individually as much as possible will also help you manage expectations all round.

keep up the great work James, & best of luck..

Darren