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Dealing with winning and losing

Community Manager

While football is fun to play, when it gets to matchday there is often a winner and a loser, and that can be difficult for younger players to handle.

To help, we've compiled a list of ten top tips to help you and your team deal with the outcome of a match.

  1. Look for opportunities to show how to deal with adversity and frustration
  2. Understand that results aren’t a reflection of your ability as a coach
  3. Know your own values and beliefs
  4. Recognise that the result does matter
  5. Remember that kids imitate adults
  6. Define what ‘winning’ means to you
  7. Consider how far you've taken the team
  8. Understand the importance of winning with dignity and respect
  9. Recognise that you’re not Mourinho!
  10. Remember that the kids will take their lead from you

If you want more detail on each of these points, click here.

We'd love to find out how you help your players deal with match results, so let us know what your top tips are by replying to this post.

Parents

  • It's something I've taken from comments of professional coaches when the conduct interviews but we deliver a consistent message of not getting to elated with a big win and by the same effect not getting too low about a heavy defeat.

    We try and put things into perspective.. if we win one week I think it was 26-2.. fantastic and lots of praise but spare a thought about the opposition, maybe we caught them on a bad day, we just had an amazing day, maybe they had kids away who would have made it closer, maybe were unfairly matches on ability... a big win is great but don't use it as validation of anything other than a single result/performance.

    Then on the flip side if we lose heavily.. we've lost something like 15-1 recently... look at the opposition, are we happy with how they won, do we want to play that way or are we happy we played our game, tried to achieve other goals (than the result) could we have done better, were we off todya, were they on fire, did we have players missing.. etc etc

    Results are important to us and we make that clear, you play to win, however we won't always win so we need to be able to take a defeat and look for positives form the game and a positive plan on how we improve to try and stop it happening the next time.. we've done this since the beginning and it's been great for our group, we don't get the tears now which we got at the beginning, we get smiling faces who are waiting to get feedback and a plan of what were going to do in training and following games to always move forward.

Reply

  • It's something I've taken from comments of professional coaches when the conduct interviews but we deliver a consistent message of not getting to elated with a big win and by the same effect not getting too low about a heavy defeat.

    We try and put things into perspective.. if we win one week I think it was 26-2.. fantastic and lots of praise but spare a thought about the opposition, maybe we caught them on a bad day, we just had an amazing day, maybe they had kids away who would have made it closer, maybe were unfairly matches on ability... a big win is great but don't use it as validation of anything other than a single result/performance.

    Then on the flip side if we lose heavily.. we've lost something like 15-1 recently... look at the opposition, are we happy with how they won, do we want to play that way or are we happy we played our game, tried to achieve other goals (than the result) could we have done better, were we off todya, were they on fire, did we have players missing.. etc etc

    Results are important to us and we make that clear, you play to win, however we won't always win so we need to be able to take a defeat and look for positives form the game and a positive plan on how we improve to try and stop it happening the next time.. we've done this since the beginning and it's been great for our group, we don't get the tears now which we got at the beginning, we get smiling faces who are waiting to get feedback and a plan of what were going to do in training and following games to always move forward.

Children
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